I have 46
journal entries and I have 3 (on the date of this post) more on my tumblr account. I decided to continue the journey journal
simply naming every entry with a number.
I’m from square one, but on the first post I put I mention that it is a
continuation of what I was doing on the journal. I do hope not to lose the habit of writing,
which I guess I will be able to keep as long as I can sit down and just really
be with me, myself and I for more than 4 hours, more or less.
Have I learned
or made better something of my persona? I do think I have. Sitting down to write my last two entries on
the journal made me decide on continuing the journal only. I can write my thoughts faster, I can really
post anything that comes to mind just knowing that I’m sending this out to the
world, and my 40 followers, and not really bothering for what might come of my writing. I have considered the journal to be a
cathartic element, so I will keep it that way.
I have been
able to go with my first thoughts pretty well throughout the assignment and I hope
to be able to really fix thoughts faster than fast, seeing as it makes no real
sense to “write your first thoughts” because first thoughts can sometimes be
like “blue green magenta lets write other colours with a u because british and
without spacing because yespurplemarronfive what is this im thinking. THE
CHUPACABRA!!!” And so on. I believe, or I like to (believe), that first
thoughts is something you work on, somewhat like being able to socialize. I’m not
one to talk much, but I think I have learned much in the past years of my
life. I guess like a decade ago I would
talk a max of 100 words in a day. That bad, maybe. But I’m probably exaggerating.
About the
anti-rules, I think I had a hard time with “don’t cross out.” Although I always knew this was referring to
thoughts, for example, to not cross out a complete, or part of a, thought
because you thought it was ugly, or something indignant, or maybe something you
just didn’t want to ever thing you would come to think of. To not cross out what you may consider “dark
thoughts.” I believe expressing this on
paper, and really organizing these thoughts no matter how bad, really helps one
with getting through it. An example would
be something like suicide. It is a fact
that saying suicide helps one to really associate the gravity of the act for a
person. So writing your thoughts really helps you, and you’ll be thinking a bit
more on that “dark thought” a bit more, and come to peace with it in the end.
(At least this was my processing, not with something like suicide though.)
Another
rule I had a few encounters more than most, was the grammar; to not worry about
grammar, punctuation and spelling. I’m
somewhat of a grammar-Nazi so this is a must. Sometimes... Most times, I would cross out the word I had
written wrong just to be sure I knew how to write it, and to not get lazy with writing
as one might do on text messages. So, this thought relates to the crossing out.
I did it on words I knew were incorrectly written.
What have I learned about myself with this assignment?
Well, one, I have been able to get back on track with how I used to do things back in high school. I would do really good assignments whenever I had time for myself, and I had motivation to write or work, or really understand all the abstracts concepts in physics, for example. Although I am a person who really likes to have company, with one person really, I do well when I am by myself to do my work, and really find what there is to learn by doing said work. I don’t really know how it works for some people, but this is probably a reason why I like to be with myself; I guess I can trust myself to do a great job and what is expected if I work at it alone.
PS: This
blog post could not have been written with less words, probably more though. I acknowledge that the example for the first anti-rule was a bit excessive with detail, but I do hope you get the complete idea.
PSS: (an excerpt from my first attempt at writing this blog post.)
---Whenever I got cluttered with work, reminding
myself to do the journal first helped me a lot. This would clear my head, and
allow me to focus on the matters at hand. Other times, the journal worked as a
friend; I would write the kind of things you keep secret to yourself.
Writing a
jugular was particularly fun at times.
The atmosphere of my thoughts would get really serious, I felt that my
facial expression would also change. It
felt like as if you reached a milestone for that moment. The jugulars for me were moments of a change
in attitude toward a topic one writes about.
Basically, the jugular was a somewhat spontaneous line of thought that
emerged from a previous thought one had.---
Hello partner, you got my curiosity when you mentioned "dark thought" in one of your sentences. I wonder if you shared my experienced of sometimes being afraid of myself as I wrote my journal because of all the dark thoughts that usually came to my mind as I was writing, or if your experience was different. I know the post could not be any longer but I would be really interested if sometime you did a separate post just talking about that subject.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe first thought part you mention totally happened to me. Sometimes, mostly at mornings, my first thoughts were a total mess and I truly couldn't write any of that. On another hand, I believe that suicide it's a grave situation no matter if you say it or not. Also, I think that dark thoughts are a really important part of being a person, since it's a part of us that we mostly ignore and we shall not.
ReplyDeleteLike you, the rule that I found the hardest to follow was the "not cross out" one. Otherwise, the journal wasn't that bad of an experience.
ReplyDeleteThe anti rules we're really bothersome. They were somewhat useful though.
ReplyDeleteHello Nicolas! Like you I find that when I have an project or something I like doing the work by myself however its good to have a group to fall back on sometimes.
ReplyDelete~~~Paula